Difficult stories are a reflection of the lives people live on a daily basis. Suffering is a part of everyone’s life to some extent, some experience more than others. It may feel disingenuous to just let it all go and focus on the future but, in fact, it is helpful to focus on the positive rather than play a victim in an old story which no longer serves a purpose.
When a person chooses not to forgive, it can keep the individual stuck and unmoving. The chains of the past need to be cut in order to free an individual to live the life that is ahead. Trying to walk away with a chain attached is like treading water which is exhausting over time. Rather than stay there, trying to do something that does not work, focus on forgiveness and letting go of the past. Give it a try in some areas of life before deciding it does not work.
Make a Decision to Let Go
Issues will not disappear without a commitment to ‘letting it all go.’ This is a conscious choice made up-front to move beyond hurt to healing. Accepting a choice exists is half the battle, to stop reliving past pain and going over story details is the other half of the battle.
Express Pain Positively
Expression of the pain caused can build understanding of what the hurt is really all about. Even if responsibility lies in someone else’s hands, there is always a part to play in it ultimately which belongs to oneself. Focus less on the victim mentality and ask what could have been done differently and accept responsibility for what comes up.
Stop Playing the Victim
Being the victim feels good – for a time. The world does not really care about people who play the victim. Feelings matter, but do not confuse the notion with how one’s feelings should override anything else that should also matter. Feelings are just one part of life which is messy and complex. Strive to be better and do better which will help build a better future.
Be present for the joy and hope of the present moment. Now is the time to let go of the past and stop reliving it. Stop telling old stories with a victim mindset. All that can be done is to make today the best day by focusing on the present moment. Some people find it easier to do self affirmations which help focus on one’s own happiness and joy. Additionally, it helps to make the choice to let go of hurt and welcome joy which brings presence and peace of mind.
The Villa supports individuals and families dealing with addiction. If you are struggling and need support, call us. We will help guide you towards healing and hope.