Sometimes, to be honest, it can feel easier to hold onto the past than let it go. Pain, trauma, fear and anxiety can build about how to cope with past emotional and physical hurt and, yet, the question remains of how to let go. What a person does in the face of pain is probably more important than the hurt itself. Find some ways to let go of the past and seek opportunities to build a healthy, positive perspective.
Letting Go
How a person let’s go of the past can determine how a person moves into the present and future. A person wronged another individual, an apology was expected that did not come and blame begins. Blaming others can backfire in that it leaves a person powerless with no resolution. People who hold onto past hurts often re-live the pain over and over mentally, getting ‘stuck’ in the past pain, never able to let go and move forward.
Steps to Healing
The best and only way to move forward is acceptance of new joy into one’s life. The following 5 steps can provide a path to get there.
Decide to let it go
Things that happen to people in life do not just disappear. It takes a commitment to letting it go. This conscious choice must be up-front to avoid self-sabotage to move forward from past hurt. Acceptance of the choice to let go and help a person stop reliving past pain and move onto step two.
Express the pain – and responsibility
Getting the negative energy out of one’s system can help a person see what specifically happened and how to deal with the pain. Try journaling or a creative outlet of expression. Some of the responsibility rests with the individual to deal with any part of the issue which caused the pain and accept what happened.Become an active participant in life rather than play a victim and notice how it changes things.
Stop being a victim
Playing the victim feels good, like being on the winning team against the world. Feelings should not be confused with or override everything else. Make the choice to start feeling good, take responsibility and power back to own what happened.
Be present
The past holds power over those who continue to live inside of it. Tell a new story where that person in the past is choosing to make the best of what exists now. That was then, this is now. Be focused on how much better things are now than back then.
Forgive
Forgive does not mean forget but offering others forgiveness helps people let go of pain and stubbornness. Forgiveness also is offered to oneself as a sign of strength to say what happened no longer holds power over one’s life.
If letting go was easy, everyone would do it right now. It takes intentional focus. Once done, it can have a positive impact on people’s relationships, life and, ultimately, recovery.
Letting go of past pain can be a helpful tool in recovery. If you struggle with addiction, call The Villa to find out how we can help you start letting go of what does not serve you to find a better way.
